It’s been a year; a mom update

A one year review of stage 4 pancreatic cancer from a daughter’s view.

It’s been 5 months since I’ve written an update. In November we hit a low and I panicked. I just couldn’t write. I wanted to see the light, first. And, I did. Repeating the verse that I held closely after my Dad passed. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10). These opinions are always 100% my own. 

February 5th, 2022 –

It’s Saturday, I’m setting up a coffee bar pop-up for the start-up company I have joined. I have officially been home a week from my mission to Guatemala with Belle & Sparrows. I’ve officially quit my conventional healthcare job and my life outlook is full of inspiration and endless possibilities for my practice to grow, while I teach the fitness class training I just trained for, and join this booming start-up. I leisurely see 27 patients over a span of 5 days, while fitting in exciting side projects and teaching. And then, I get a phone call. 

I got on a flight that night. And, everything changes.

February 5th, 2023 –

I work one job. I see patients 2.5 days a week. I do not teach fitness. I do not work for a start-up. There are less dinners out and social events. I say no, a lot. I keep my bubble small. I’ve been on more than 30 flights this year.

But, God knows our strength and our limitations.

I’m currently in Mexico on my BabyMoon. I’m 30.5 weeks pregnant (who’s counting? Me, I am). I toast my husband with a sparkling water and lime; I cannot believe we’ve made it through the last 365 days. Life looks very different when you finally, must, just let go, and let God. And boy, are his plans made of humbling greatness. Proverbs (16:9)(NASB): The mind of a man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

But, enough about me, the cancer care coordinator. Back to little mama and all she’s achieved!

Last night, my aunt’s text said “The only person who knows she isn’t 110% is us” after they met my mom for dinner, discussing my impending baby shower plans. With her cutest custom wig, healthy weight gain (we’re finally above 100lbs!) and less-invasive treatment plan, there are days when it almost seems like we’re back to normal life. This is the biggest blessing I could ever ask for.

Because overall, the war still wages on inside. Mama is still actively fighting a growing cancer. But, one that we have successfully kept at bay with no further significant growth in a year. IN. A. YEAR. The magnitude of that is not one to take lightly. When we started this journey, the oncologist recommended “palliative” chemo – or a level of chemo to only keep her comfortable until she likely couldn’t do more than, “likely 6 months of treatment before the symptoms and neuropathy outweigh the benefit”. 

Mainstream sites plaster the statistic – Survival of metastatic pancreatic cancer (MPC). Stage IV cancer has a dismal prognosis with 85.18% surviving less than 1 year. But God! I hope you can join me in celebrating this victorious day. It is a huge win for us, for integrative therapies, for the road-less-traveled, and our entire family.

Hello, 365 day finish line! Let’s be clear; Little Mama is anything but a statistic. 

(Shout out to the best, best friends, on the planet who coordinated the perfect little getaway for these two on their off-week!)

I am still in awe, daily, of the incredible care team that she has. The support system. And her incredible, enduring, strength. 

Finally, after three transitions and so much paperwork, and the year of mastering hard conversations; we’ve found an incredible oncologist. One who listens. Who takes a Zoom call, day of, when things are NOT going well. Who giggles and laughs and talks about “the cancer exploding, breaking up and disintegrating!” with positive spirits. 

A team of nurses who know mama by name, who have built relationships with her. Who hold a private room for her each week. Who give her the positivity, motivation and support she needs. Not false hope either, they see life change happen at their clinic and wholeheartedly believe in it.

And other patients, who have flown from around the nation to see Dr. Chue, who all share the same mission. Just last week there was a woman playing Christian hymns on her guitar. The community treatment room is so loud with happy banter that it’s oftentimes harder for mama to sleep; the best problem to have on chemo day, I think!

• She is still in treatment with Dr. Parmar ND in Canada for LHRT (see prior post) and fever, as tolerated. 
• She is still receiving Keytruda immunotherapy (covered at 100%!! through the assistance program I applied to no less than 7 times) eery 3 weeks. 
• She is still doing high dose Vitamin C infusions and follow-up therapies with Dr. Putney ND in Bellingham. 
• She is still doing lymphatic massage, infrared sauna, juicing, supplementation, Ozone insufflations, and the Rife machine. 

The Game Changers of the last 5 month

First and foremost; a positive, modernized and communicative care team. But also:

1. Low-dose metronomic chemo. Something most doctors never consider. 
2. An appetite stimulant!
3. Staying OFF of 5-FU; a chemo she cannot tolerate, even in small amounts
4. Less driving to Canada; rest matters.
5. A week long trip to Mexico at the end of her last 12 week cycle (Dr. Chue was so encouraging of her time in Mexico! She gained 2lbs when she was there, had less pain and neuropathy. Relaxation is so good for the soul!)
6. And the fact that Jeff has been off for 3 months to support care and transport (he returns to work at the end of the month). 
7. Doing weekly labs at Skagit instead of LabCorp where it’s quick and painless.
8. A group text of prayer warriors

Although the weekly routine is intense; Tuesday labs and sauna, Wednesday all day chemo, Thursday Vitamin C, Friday Canada; the outcomes continue to prove that there is hope, progress and benefit to what she is doing. At this point, we continue to ask for your prayers, especially as we transition Jeff back to work and create a co-pilot system for transport again and I’m unable to fly up every 6 weeks to support them.

I’m sharing some of our favorite moments from the last 5 months to remind you that cancer is not an identity, ever. Again, I cannot thank you enough for your endless support. This process would be impossible without your love, prayers and check-ins. 

If you are new to a stage 4 pancreatic cancer diagnosis, please don’t hesitate to reach out. We are here to give you our experiential support and love. You are not alone! 

Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.

(Psalm 139:7-10)